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After your baby, bring back excitement in your sex life



sexual desires

New Delhi, March 25 : It is natural for new mothers to feel low both physically, emotionally and psychologically after childbirth. Fathers also bear the emotional brunt of childbirth.

Both new parents can experience a drop in their libido during the first 6-9 months after the baby’s birth. It is very important for the mother to understand her body and give it some time for recovery, it is even more important for her partner to be by her side during this time.

“Post-partum hormones are responsible in making the new mother feel low on sex-drive. The first six weeks – Puerperium, are the hardest, both physically and emotionally. Also, low Estrogen levels makes the vagina dry and devoid of lubrication, so sexual intercourse is painful,” Dr Manjiri Mehta, Senior Consultant Gynaecologist and Obstetrician, Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi – A Fortis Network Hospital.

However, it is important to understand �when’ it is safe to have sex, more than �if’ you are ready to have sex – speak to your gynecologist to address this question.

Try to take some time off by engaging a babysitter or a close family member to look after the baby for a short time. Take this time to reconnect with each other’s bodies again; the release of Oxytocin is high when couples touch, hug and kiss each other. Hence, in the first 6 weeks even if intercourse is difficult, physical contact should be reestablished between the couple.

“Don’t compare sex to a battlefield, by that I mean that new moms judge dads for having sexual urges, whereas dads feel rejected and shame the new moms for their decreased sex drive; this doesn’t really help. Don’t let your relationship with your spouse get destroyed completely in an attempt to look after the baby; spending every waking minute with the baby will leave you no time for your partner,” the doctor added.

It is also important to try new things (sexual or otherwise), to re-establish bonds, create new bonds and build closeness. Find out what sparks intimacy between both of you, and work on it; there is no fixed formula for this so be creative and explore!

Just became parents? Consider doing this:

  • Set-up date nights (once a week would be a good idea)
  • Have one meal with your partner (here, talks about the baby are a no-no, or are to be kept minimal)
  • Bring back her hobby (if the new mother loves to read, buy her a gift by her favourite author)
  • Switch night-duty roles (this way both parents receive adequate rest, and may also be able to manage some intimate time)
  • Take on household chores from the new mother, giving her a little more �me’ time (fathers can help with two or more household chores, this could include dishwashing, laundry, restocking the pantry, etc.)
  • Leave her love/sex notes (leaving a little sex note for the mother may help have intimate conversations. It could be as simple as �how pretty you looked when you woke up today morning’)
  • Try new positions (couples after a period of time to get used to a certain routine, break away from it, try a new position that is mutually exciting, don’t be over-adventurous though-take it slow)

If the pain associated with intercourse I not reducing, visit your gynecologist, he or she could help you understand the problem better, and help resolve it.

You may also seek your doctor’s help to understand the ideal time when new mothers can start exercising. Once you start exercising, work on toning up your body, start doing Kegel’s and pelvic floor strengthening exercises, they are found to be extremely important especially after childbirth.

(This article is website exclusive and cannot be reproduced without the permission of IANSlife)


Women can actually be better, safe drivers than men




New Delhi, Busting a common myth that women are bad at wheels, researchers now say that male drivers are more dangerous on the road and are also more likely to drive more dangerous types of vehicles.

Women may actually be better and safer drivers than men, they added.
The findings, published in the journal The BMJ, prompt the researchers to suggest that greater gender equity in road transport jobs, overall, might help lessen these risks.

“We suggest policy-makers consider policies to increase gender balance in occupations that substantially involve driving, given the greater likelihood that other road users will be killed if men rather than women are driving or riding,” the researchers wrote.

For the findings, researchers at University of Westminster drew on four sets of official data for England for the period 2005-15: police injury statistics, Road Traffic Statistics, National Travel Survey data and Office for National Statistics population/gender figures.

They used the data to analyse the risks posed to other road users from bicycles, cars and taxis, vans, buses, lorries and motorbikes per billion vehicle kilometres travelled, and categorised by road type–major and minor roads in urban and rural areas–and gender.

In terms of absolute numbers, cars and taxis were associated with most (two-thirds) of fatalities to other road users.

But a comparison of fatalities per distance travelled shows that other vehicles might be even more dangerous.

According to the researchers, lorries were associated with one in six deaths to other road users: each km driven was associated with more than five times the number of such deaths than each km driven in a car. There was a similarly high death toll for buses per km driven.

Despite their small size, motorbikes also put other road users at high risk. In urban areas, most of those deaths–173 over the entire study period–were pedestrians.

Analysis of the data by gender showed that men posed a significantly higher risk to other road users for five of the six-vehicle types studied.

For cars and vans, the risk posed by male drivers was double that posed by women per km driven, rising to four times higher for lorry drivers, and more than 10 times higher for motorbike riders.

In a linked podcast, the researchers pointed out that driving jobs tend to be male-dominated, citing the high death toll to other road users associated with lorries, 95 per cent of which are driven by men.

While lorries, in general, are dangerous vehicles, male lorry drivers pose a particularly high risk compared to female lorry drivers, she adds.

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Switch to medical dramas on World Health Day



By , World Health Day,

New Delhi, April 7 It’s World Health Day on Tuesday, so let’s salute doctors and nurses who are doing their best to help the victims of COVID-19. While you continue to help them by maintaining social distancing, indulge in catching up a few medical dramas that have been winning hearts for years.

These five shows suggested by IANS had originally aired on television, but now you can catch them at the comfort of your palms what with OTT platforms making these available.

  • “Grey’s Anatomy”
    One of the most popular American medical dramas, it revolves around the title character, Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo), who was first seen as an intern back in 2005. It told the stories of the personal and professional lives of five surgical interns and their supervisors. Over the years, many original cast members have bid farewell to the show. Actor Justin Chambers was the latest one to quit the show and confirmed he won’t be returning for an 17th season. Take a walk through their lives on Amazon Prime Video.
  • “House”
    This is considered to be actor Hugh Laurie’s most popular show that premiered in 2004 and ran for eight seasons. He played the title role of the ingenious and unsociable Dr. Gregory House, who flouts hospital rules, clashes with fellow doctors and his assistants as he comes up with controversial hypotheses about his patients’ illnesses. You can watch it on Amazon Prime Video.
  • “The Good Doctor”
    This is one of the new entrants in the genre. Launched in 2017, the American medical drama television series sees actor Freddie Highmore as Shaun Murphy, a young surgeon with autism and savant syndrome, who relocates from a quiet country life to join a prestigious hospital’s surgical unit. It has already been renewed for season four. Watch all the seasons on Amazon Prime Video.
  • “Dil Mill Gayye”
    Back home, “Dil Mill Gayye” was a sequel to the successful medical TV show “Sanjivani: A Medical Boon” (2002 to 2005) that featured Mohnish Bahl, Karan Singh Grover, Jennifer Winget and Karan Wahi as doctors. It revolved around their characters and their jobs at Sanjeevani hospital. The show started in August 2007 and came to an end in October 2010. It is now available on Disney+ Hotstar.
  • “Sanjivani”
    Creator Siddharth Malhotra’s “Sanjivani” made a return to the small screen last year with mostly a fresh cast and a new story. The new version even took a leap. The story then focussed on how heart-broken Ishani, has given up on her dreams of becoming the best doctor and finding love. The original version’s Mohnish Bahl and Gurdeep Kohli were seen in some episodes, but the cast was led by Namit Khanna and Surbhi Chandna. It is streaming on Disney+ Hotstar.
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‘Tablighi Jamaat chief has not shown vision, scientific approach’

Maulana Saad released an audio message last week in which he had said that he is in “self-quarantine in Delhi as advised by the doctors” and appealed to all Jamaatis wherever they are in the country to follow the directives of the law.





New Delhi, April 6 : Tablighi Jamaat chief, Maulana Saad Kandhalvi, who is at the centre of the controversy for holding a large global congregation at a time of spreading coronavirus — despite advice of veterans — which led to a wider spread of the disease across the country, has been faulted by community leaders and intellectuals for his misjudgements.

Given that Islam is not against science, they said the community expects that followers of Jamaat to adhere to the “scientific approach”.

“The community is suffering because of the lack of vision shown by Maulana Saad in dealing with the issues which could have been dealt in a better manner,” Navaid Hamid, President of the Majlis Mushawarat, said, adding that had Maulana Saad showed vision, “the community would not have been maligned the way it is being done by the adversaries”.

“Since the beginning, authorities of the Markaz Jamaat, including its Amir Maulana Saad, have not shown the visionary attitude which they were supposed to demonstrate during the whole crisis in its basic aspects….the foremost is the continuous congregation of the faithful and the inept response of the Markaz,” he said.

Hamid suggested that Maulana Saad should have made a public statement when attendees got stuck in the lockdown, but at least now, he should come out to make a public statement.

Maulana Ashraf Imam of Mumbai said that mosques were closed when the government advisory came and it is in the teachings of Islam to save your life and the life of other person.

“The Prophet himself has said to do research on certain things to serve the human kind. The Prophet also said that not to go to the place where there is pandemic and also not to migrate from the place of pandemic,” he said.

Shakil Ahmed, an engineer who has lived in the Gulf for years, said: “Islam is not against scientific approach and it seeks a person to be practical…. the problem is that the Markaz issue has damaged the image of Muslims whereas there are very less number of people who follow the Tablighi Jamaat.”

However, the Jamaat disagrees on the charge that they do not follow modern ways and says its chief is in quarantine as per the advice of doctors.

Maulana Saad released an audio message last week in which he had said that he is in “self-quarantine in Delhi as advised by the doctors” and appealed to all Jamaatis wherever they are in the country to follow the directives of the law.

He said that it is also advised to remain indoors and adhere to the directives of the government and not assemble anywhere.

Maulana Saad, through his advocate, also appealed that followers of Jamaat should present themselves to the authorities for checkup and follow-up if any of the persons has returned from Jamaat and they should also adhere to the directive of the authorities and there was “no need to argue and misbehave with anybody”.

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